Re-focused

I have been reading a book called “Eat, Pray, Love.” In it the author goes on to describe how each place she has been has a name to it, a state of being. I was further intrigued by this notion reading a friend’s blog which she desribed in a word “still” how she is right now. Both have theological viewpoints. I think being still is really hard. I can’t remember the last time I was inside of a church because I don’t feel at home there anymore. I felt lost and isolated and that while I don’t condemn anyone for having a belief, it’s not something I can stand in line for anymore. I felt more isolated in a congregation of 200-400 than in a house of me and a dog. I see so many people so comforted by their faith, so driven towards prayer, and I just felt like I wasn’t being heard and didn’t hear anything in return. What do they see that clearly I don’t? What messages are being sent that I am not getting? Did I wake up an atheiest? I don’t know.

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