Even if you fear chage; change finds you

Since I was laid off last April, it as been a time of constant transition adjustment and shift in thinking. For an NT person (neurotypical) this is hard, For a person who lives with epilepsy, high functioning Autism (Aspergers) and acute anxiety, change is difficult to understand, hard to accept and downright scary. I am not a person who likes surprises at all and wants things planned out. I have gone on more interviews, second interviews and even a few third, but last week I did something I thought I’d never have to do, I started getting food stamps. I even went on a site called http://www.gofundme.com asking for money to help pay for my medical expenses as I take quite a bit of pills per day. The sounding boards and support I had. my grandmother, my dad and an aunt, have all passed away. The people here do not understand or choose to not understand any of my medical conditions. In addition, the epilepsy causes a great deal of balance and coordination problems. At the age of 43 I have started Occupational Therapy which should have started at 4 but no one could handle it. My right leg has given out on me 4 times and I do not want to start using a walker or cane at this age. All of this is a lot to think about going into an interview when I just WANT A JOB. I’m told I’m overqualified, or the position has gone internal. I have been job coached, interview trained, and feel completely drained. The latest challenge is going through a 72 hour EEG. I was told I am having a slow down in brain activity on one side. I have fallen 4 times because my right leg gives out. I had an uncle tell me I am falling because I’m fat. I am surrounded by people who don’t understand.


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