Anger and bitterness are in conflict with waiting on God’s timing. Learning this is a slow and difficult process each day. Is God listening? Does He care? Why did He forget the needs of a person with various medical conditions who can barely afford food and to keep the lights on? What other options are there?
Prayer. Starting again like a novice instead of a person with 19 years of Catholic school, the sacrament of Reconciliation seemed like a good as place to start as any. It started to seem hypocritical to constantly ask for prayers when being unwilling to the deed for anyone else or myself.
Proof was needed things were going to get better. In a case of being careful of what you wish for, blessings did come but not in a way you planned. Going to a job search support group ended in buckets of tears, plenty of emotions and shared stories with the reminder that a layoff and job searching are not a new phenomenon, the economy here is horrible, and help is available. Without asking for anything, gifts of $100, a Starbucks card and a Sweet Tomatoes card were presented. More tears and waves of gratitude. Then on the way home, a voice mail and email check stating two job rejections. Not the signs asked for, but direct signs indeed. Signs to keep trying and keep going.