The Long and Short, Very Short of It

The Long and Short, Very Short of It.

Touch, Don’t Touch

Sensory integration is something I’m learning a lot more about as I continue to navigate the world of Asperger’s Syndrome as an adult. Unless you know me well, don’t touch me. From Learning RX:

Smells and flavors can cause intense responses

• Soft touch or embrace may “hurt”
• Sounds may make them irritable and jumpy
• Textures like wool, Styrofoam, and man-made fabrics are often uncomfortable

In my case, I have outgrown the last one, but the other two are still pretty big issues. I’m very afraid of the random stranger who for whatever reason has the need to put their hand on me, for them it’s seen as comforting, for me, I’m ready to scream and assault them. I know the look on my face conveys that anyway. I’ve had to tell supervisors to stop touching me, and it was nothing inappropriate, but I was about to climb off the roof.

Other issues may include difficulty in crowded spaces. This one confuses me. I used to be able to go to malls with no problem. Now it’s a huge chore, and I might make it twice a year. I am very aware of who is looking at me, and get in and get out. Loud noise is the worst trigger. I listen to TV or the radio on volume 7 to 10  but that’s it. Anything higher is cause for a headache. I also can’t have the TV on if I’m reading.

Does this happen to you? How often? Would love to know and discuss

Aspergers, Outbursts, and Drama Oh My

I have been putting off this post for quite some time. The last post caused so much drama in family circles I wondered if it was worth it. It took many months to realize that I am worth it. Family can choose to not understand my Asperger’s syndrome, why I meltdown, most have walked away and not looked back. I continue on this educational quest learn about Adult Aspergers, Agenesis of the Corpus Collosum, acute panic and anxiety and epilepsy and how all combined they are in my life but I am trying to not let them run my life. I do not remember having so many meltdowns than in the last two years. I take enough meds that should put a horse to sleep yet sleep eludes me. I try to follow a healthy diet which was easier on food stamps, but I was cut off. Neighbors have given me a $2o here, a $10 there, and a very caring cousin gave me $100 last week, but my bills which were all under control are so far behind I have no idea how to get them current. Insert panic attack. Bring on meltdown. Interviews have been coming, did I mention I haven’t worked in 16 months due to a layoff? However, my panic is so sky high thinking I HAVE to get this job, I am a total wreck before I get there until they call. How do other adults with Aspergers manage? Is your family understanding? Do you frequently meltown? What coping mechanisms do you have? I use Klonopin for anxiety but it’s not helping. My social outlet is the dog park and when I can manage it, church. I would like to blog full time about Aspergers and epilepsy and am trying to navigate that too. I look forward to your comments and plan to blog much more frequently.

Trying to grow my blog

I am trying to grow my blog. I am at best, a novice. I’ve had a big six followers (and for you I’m grateful). I would like to see that grow to 60,000. A girl can dream, right? If you have never read my blog posts they are about living with epilepsy, Asperger’s Syndrome and Acute anxiety. I have a lot of questions and hopefully can provide some answers to what I’ve experienced so far.

Not Exactly Holly Homemaker

Living alone when you have neurological and physical limitations can be challenging. I’m by no means ready for an ALF, but I realize how limited I am in certain areas. Case in point. My light in my computer room has gone unchanged for three weeks. I’m not allowed on ladders (per the neurologist) because my sense of balance and equilibrium is that bad stone cold sober. I’ve asked person a or b to change a light bulb and they look at me like I’m an idiot that I cannot do it myself.

Now a few posts back I mentioned that for the first time after weeks of occupational therapy, I held a plate in my right hand. My entire right side has largely been, shall we say decoration. Due to the inability to carry much of anything without risking breaking it or me, I have quite an array of broken, old or useless electronics I was informed it would be good “occupational therapy” to carry down my stairs. Really? I just conquered carrying a plate, and now an insensitive (take your pick) relative thinks I should move right on into TVs?

What I am learning over and over the hard way is because my limitations aren’t visible or injuries cannot be seen to the naked eye, they aren’t seen as valid or understood.

I can clean my house, but what takes one person two hours takes me six. I have friends who clean out their own dryer vent. No idea how, I don’t want to set the place on fire. The older I get the harder these tasks become.